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Cake day: October 7th, 2023

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  • Empty toilet paper tube between the seat and the rim, a big squeeze of your sister’s fancy conditioner, and go to town like its doggy-style. The weight of the toilet seat and lid offered great resistance it actually felt really good, though you definitely need a real ceramic toilet seat not some shitty plastic one. In terms of just sensation alone it was one of the best masturbation techniques my young addled brain came up with. Once I got my first smartphone too I could lay it on the closed lid with porn open.

    Reccomend laying down some folded towels so you don’t kill your knees.