I don’t think it’s immature - I wish more people had that kind of motivation.
But you say you’re entering your 30s. I’d just like to remind you how long time you actually still have. I studied computer science myself and I had multiple friends at the university in their 40s. People do switch up their careers if they want it enough. It is possible.
I love programming and will continue my computer hobbies for life. I will never make a profession out of it
Why do you say that? Is it by choice or do you not see how you could make it a career?
I’m slowly coping with the fact that all my work will ultimately influence very nearly nothing at all…
What kind of impact were you hoping for? I mean lots of jobs have little “influence” - I would actually say almost all jobs. But that doesn’t mean we are not all part of collective progress.
This is a legacy from the past of typewriters. Please never do this.
There is nothing pointless about following your passions - in fact I’d say that is the only point of life. It’s the opposite of pointless.
Maybe you need to reframe it as not failure, but progress. See how you get better and closer, not how you didn’t reach the goal. It’s about the journey.