An old friend/aquaintance I’ve not spoken to in a few years popped up recently and we got chatting a little over text. In the few years since we spoke she’s had two babies by two different guys. They’re ~6 months and ~2-3 years.

She said that we should get coffee and catch up properly, and I was sort of down, although I’m not really that enthusiastic about catching up with someone I’ve frankly not thought about in a few years. But hey, it’s something to do, and it might be interesting. So I suggested a coffee shop near her and asked if she’d be able to get time away from the kids, but she said that no, she’d have to bring the kids along.

I don’t want to be a dick but I’m really not interested in sitting in a coffee shop with two babies. They’re mostly just going to be the focus of the occasion because they need constant attention, and I don’t really like kids in general. And, if they cry or act up and attract attention I will hate that.

AITA? How do I tell her I’m really not interested in sitting with her babies for an afternoon?

  • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world
    107·
    4 days ago

    IMO, it reads more like “I haven’t been properly socialized, I’m mostly a hermit, and I get easily overstimulated with regular human interaction and experiences” so I tried being kind because OP is certainly afflicted with the tisms. I mean, just posting this thread showed us OP is far away from regular humanity…

    • Zos_Kia@lemmynsfw.com
      2·
      2 days ago

      I get where you’re coming from but it sounds like a cop-out to me. The OP reads more like “I can’t handle frustration and not being the center of attention” than “i’m neuro-divergent”.

      But of course that’s just interpretation from a few lines of text so…

    • axby@lemmy.ca
      1·
      4 days ago

      If this is it then OP should just offer to get coffee to-go and go for a walk or sit in a nearby park, perhaps with a playground. Then they wouldn’t have to worry about bothering others. A coffee shop seems like a boring place for a 3 year old.

      My assumption is that there is a chance (not sure how large) that kids could be restless and need constant attention, and then it would suck for OP and is a bit much to expect someone you barely know to meet up just for that.

      But I think there’s a chance that the young one will just sleep, and the older one could occupy themselves at the playground or even with a tablet or something. Then it should only be a minor hassle for the OP.

      Maybe OP could just ask the person if they think they’ll be able to actually talk or if the kids will need constant attention.