Not just pestering but flat out lying. “Someone has asked you about your experience with <thing>.” I think I answered one or two before giving it some thought and realizing what it was.

There are lots of different meanings. Pick one. Make people happy. Leave something that will help the next generation, whether it’s planting trees or a park bench or curing cancer. Be kind to people along the way to enable them to see the best in humanity. There are lots of ways to make things better. Just pick one and do it.

Leave a better world behind than you entered (to the extent you are able to as an individual).

We already tried making it illegal. Plus we don’t have the health infrastructure for it. We have a shotload of people self-medicating a variety of disorders with alcohol. And lots of people brewing beer just for fun. I don’t know what they do in Finland and Norway but it wouldn’t work here.

Alcohol just isn’t hard to make. It’s also really easy to sneak into places. You could never make it insanely expensive. It would just all go black market.

This is my problem. I don’t really ever do it, but I don’t abstain completely. My son in law thinks it’s the greatest thing in the world. I don’t really care as such, but my kids are surrounded by it and I worry how it will affect them. If it weren’t for kids being around it all the time, I’d be fine with legalization. Hell I signed petitions in support of legalization. But I wasn’t anticipating huge billboards fucking everywhere. Or the sheer ubiquity of vape pens.

Legalization is fine but I do want to see some further laws around public use and display. It has always been that I don’t care what you do within the walls of your own home, but I would very much like to keep that activity there.

Yeah I think the reset might depend on the state or there is a court action they can take. I just know it’s better in Michigan than it was in Virginia.

That’s rough, mate. I have no idea how it works in other countries. Sorry I wrote that all up and none of it pertains to you but hopefully it can help others. All I can really offer is this: these scum are predatory companies. They set you up to fail and then capitalize on it when you do. This isn’t your fault and doesn’t reflect on your quality or value as a human being. And hopefully anyone they call tells them to fuck off. Maybe tell folks it’s a paperwork issue/mistaken identity and they would rather harass you into paying than fix their records and figure out who actually owes the money.

That might not help with the actual debt but at least everyone gets the impression it’s not your fault but a dystopian bureaucracy. That’s very believable.

I’ve had them after me before. I still don’t answer my phone if I don’t recognize the number. I feel you. And sometimes even when you pay, someone else calls to try collecting the same debt! They lie and say the sheriff is on the way with a warrant. It’s hugely stressful.

Listen, their job is to collect and they get money into their own pocket if they do. I got a call a couple of months ago from the pre-legal specialist or whatever. Mate, everything that happens before you get a court summons is pre-legal going all the way back to the original sale—it’s just a bullshit term to make you believe you’ll be sued if you don’t work with them now.

I have some suggestions for anyone in the US. Caveat: I live in a purple state. Red states might be less borrower-friendly, but you still have things you can do.

First, within 30 days of a new collector contacting you (and if one company fails they are more likely to sell your debt than sue you), send them (certified mail so you have proof of delivery) a proof of validation letter and demand the amount of the debt, original creditor, say that you are disputing the debt (you don’t have to go into details), and a demand for verification, proof of assignment, and last payment date.

They are required to cease harassing you until they have fulfilled that request—if they don’t you can sue them. I’ve heard of at least one person who primarily earns money by getting harassed by collectors and suing them. but It will also tell them you know your rights and they might be less aggressive with you. This is federal law. You have this right in the reddest state.

Second, if you can’t pay a debt, don’t unless there is a court order. Pay attention to that last payment date. In my state, after 7 years without a payment or court action, that debt is uncollectable. Not every state is so borrower-friendly, so look up the laws. If you are close to the statute of limitations, just let that shit fly. Now, they can sell that debt and give some other collector another seven years, but they have to find someone to buy a debt no one has paid on in 7 years, and that a pretty bad investment.

Third, if you can pay a debt, call them up and cut a deal. You can often get up to 50% off the total if you can pay today. Now they are going to negotiate hard and you might not be able to get them down that low. Tell them you got a bonus at work and they can take half or you’re calling your next creditor and seeing if they want your money.

Fourth, and I’ll be honest this one is a little shady but harmless, once you pay a debt off, dispute it with the each credit agency. Even if it was a legitimate debt, I’ve found 9 times out of 10 once that debt collector has your money, they don’t bother responding with proof of debt and it falls off your credit report.

Try to avoid a court judgement and garnishment. That can have long term repercussions. If things are that bad and you are drowning in debt, it may be time to call a bankruptcy specialist. I’ve never been in that position and I’ve had probably $20-30k in debt fall off due to statute of limitations.

I know it feels like an incredible weight. The system is designed that way. But it all feels way worse than it actually is. You have tools. You are not powerless. Good luck, mate.

That really hasn’t been my experience, but then I just block people that make my experience here worse, so maybe just try that.

IT ppl don’t make companies any money and are easy to replace.

People are easy to replace but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to replace a good person.